TOP

TOP (pronounced Tee Oh Pee)- These three letters have been echoing in my head the past few days... Like images from a bad dream which keep returning.

TOP stands for Test Of Proficiency- Huayu. Still don't get it? It's like the TOEFL for Mandarin Chinese, in Taiwan. And though I have taken it four times now, I still haven't passed it.

I woke up this morning at 7:36. Then I went to the bathroom to shave and brush my teeth. I don't know what happens in the morning, but when I looked at the clock again it was already 8:30. The test was at 9. As I walked out of the apartment, I debated whether to get my umbrella. I remembered seeing a forecast of rainy days throughout the week, so I decided to take it. I also put on some flip-flops.

Outside, the sun shone bright. I rushed to the Family Mart around the corner to pick up some brain food- that's right, my brain needs food, preferably protein, caffeine, and glucose. There were no egg sandwiches (my preferred form of protein in the morning) but I did find some tuna onigiri (the rice triangles wrapped in dried seaweed) and a Weider Vitamin pack (it's like this space-age looking pouch which contains a kind of jell-o which is supposed to be good for you). I added a black coffee- no sugar- and went for the counter.

Twenty-five minutes to go. I rush to the MRT (metro) while eating (drinking?) the jello stuff. It feels like forever before the train gets there. In the train, I'm not supposed to but I start to open the coffee and gulp it down. There is no eating or drinking on the Taipei MRT. That's even stricter than Japan.

When I arrive at the destination station, Gongguan, I look around to see if anyone has an umbrella but nobody does. I wonder if I look like an idiot for having one.

When I get out of the station I start running, as much as you can 'run' with flip-flops anyway, and end up being right on time. The test is actually a "pilot" test, which means the results are not official. I don't know why they need to have these so often, but the upside is they are free, and it's good practice for the real one.

I signed up for two tests today, one basic and one intermediate. By now I should be able to do the basic one no problem, but I still have trouble with the listening part. They speak very fast in the recorded dialogues, and you only get to hear them once. Sometimes I wonder if the people who made the test are secretly trying to take their revenge on the people who write the TOEFL tests.

After the first test people rush out. A Japanese girl followed by a man speaking Spanish to his friend. I walk out, go to a bench, and pull the tuna rice-ball out of my bag. I am already hungry (guess that jell-o thing doesn't have so much energy after all).

Before long, the second test starts. At first I think it's not that hard, there are a few words I don't understand but I can understand them from the context. But near the end of the test, in the reading comprehension section, the passages get longer and longer, and I don't understand what it's talking about. I have ten minutes left so I mark the rest of my answer sheet as 'C'. I hear 'C' is the best answer.

When I walk out of the second test, there are big storm clouds overhead and big raindrops falling down. I'm glad I brought my umbrella.

The end, or a new beginning

You can tell it's the end of a semester at the Mandarin Training Center (MTC) just by looking at the practically empty library. Hallways are no longer filled with voices from all over the world. On Tuesday, the last day of class, two of my classmates were already out of the country (not that many but in a class of eight the difference is felt).

When I arrived in Taiwan, I was shocked to find out that I had to keep an 80% grade point average and a very good attendance record to keep my scholarship money coming in. I vowed to not skip class unless I was seriously ill or had an emergency. I have to say I felt really good on Wednesday when I picked up my report card (which I need to get my new student visa)- a perfect attendance record and grades all above 80%. Neither in high school nor in college did I feel the need to go to class every day or to get very good grades. I guess I'm growing up.

At the same time I did not get very good grades on my TOP test- kind of like a TOEFL for Chinese in Taiwan. I know even though I have studied a lot, I still need to practice more to get really good at Chinese.

That's why I've decided to stay here at least another year- to improve my Chinese and explore more of Taipei, a city brimming with noise and liveliness, and Taiwan, an exotic island with yet-to-be-discovered treasures. Next year will be different- I'll probably be more busy with work. But since I've already gotten over the 'adaptation' stage, I'll also be able to enjoy it more.

Now, in Taipei Taoyuan International Airport, I am about to go back to Japan for a couple of weeks.

Visa

I finish pushing the last set of weights when my phone rings. It's Bob (name changed to protect privacy), my workout partner.

"Where are you?" I ask, noting that he is exactly 47 minutes late.

"My visa extension got refused and I had to go to Hong Kong on a visa run."

OK, that's a good excuse if ever there was one. And he follows this up with:

"Wanna go to lunch?"

"Sure. Meet me in the gym."

Bob, a Canadian, has been in Taiwan eight years, at least some of them illegally. He reminds me a bit of the character Jay in Stephen Clarke's A Year in The Merde, an American who has lived in Paris so long he switches between the two languages unknowingly and has absorbed some of the French customs. Bob is like that. He told me once when he went back to Canada, he was surprised at how many white people there were.

Lately Bob has been trying to live here on a study visa, but as he works (and parties) full-time, he has trouble keeping up with the attendance quotas. That would explain the Hong Kong trip.

I see him coming down the stairs, in his shorts and white t-shirt and bag strapped around his shoulder. He is 30 years old but still exudes a high-school student vibe, talking fast with a giddy smile on his face.

"Come on, let's take my bike."

Having visa problems has not stopped Bob from acquiring all the trappings of a Taipei resident though. And his bike is one of them. We walk out of the air-conditioned gym into a wave of moisture, heat, and cloudy skies. It's the first time I've ever ridden on his bike, an old black Yamaha, and for a minute I feel a little odd getting onto the back of another guy's bike. But this is Taiwan, and nobody would give us a second glance.

"I feel like I'm your bitch," I say.

"Or I'm your bitch, depending on which way you look at it," he replies.

We begin driving and I soon realize this is very different from the scooters I have ridden in Taiwan. It's a black beast which accelerates in short bursts, and though it isn't going much faster than the scooters alongside us, I can feel it has not unleashed all its power.

We speed down a major road, zipping past cars, the wind blowing in my face and the helmet barely staying on my skull. I grip onto the bars behind me but still don't feel quite safe. That's when I start to feel rain drops on my face.

Fortunately, we turn into a smaller street; almost there. Bob races between people and scooters. We pass a wooden sign which says "Bongos".

"That's my friend's restaurant, they make hamburgers and Mexican food. It's doing really well," shouts Bob over the engine and wind. He has been here so long, he seems to know every ex-pat in town.

We stop in front of a restaurant with a middle-eastern theme and get off the bike. As soon as we enter I go to look at the menu. Bob goes to say hi to one of the patrons, another foreigner, tall with brown hair falling over his eyes.

After ordering, I go to where they are talking.

"I dunno what I'm gonna do man, I gotta leave the country and change my name and come back or something."

Apparently Bob isn't the only one with visa problems. The guy, also Canadian, explains that he overstayed his visa after he realized the rules for visas had changed and his papers were not in order.

Originally, hiring foreigners under the table was attractive to employers (especially English schools) because neither party had to pay taxes. Recently though, the government has been cracking down on schools, and so they in turn have been following the rules more strictly.

Back in the middle-eastern restaurant, we order falafel sandwiches and discuss the plight of foreigners. It seems the Taiwanese government makes it difficult for foreigners to stay here. I guess it's normal as they don't want foreigners flooding the country, but it makes life more complicated.

After nine months of no problems (as a scholarship student I got an Alien Resident Card, the much-coveted "Green card" of Taiwan), on May 31 my visa will expire and I will have to find a new one. I'm going to Japan next week and will be able to get a new study visa, but the new one will only last three months, renewable once before I have to leave the country. That's why I'm trying to find a job which will sponsor a work visa for me (valid a year).

My (not so) secret weapon

So it's getting hotter every day. More humid. What this means is, more mosquitoes. You may have read previous posts where I rant about how much I hate mosquitoes.

Well, a while back I decided to get a secret weapon. The mosquitoes cannot see it. It's like an invisible wall which blocks me from them. At night, I can hear them buzzing around me, but this does not bother me for I know I am safe from them. It's a mosquito net!And it means no more bloody mosquito stains on my wall.

Is Taiwan Strange? Uhhh, yeah...

A few days ago a Taiwanese college student approached me at the Mandarin Training Center and asked me to fill out a form for her research. This is not unusual and I usually try to make up some excuse as to why I couldn't do it (these forms usually take 20-30 minutes and are not fun) but this time the form's title caught my eye: Taiwan is strange. I decided to take it.

I have written down some of the 'strange' things that go on in Taiwan so you can see what kind of culture-shock things I have experienced and how (if) I've adapted to them. Just a disclaimer: some of these things really annoy me (I still really like living here though, and believe the good things far outweigh the bad).

It is strange that Taiwanese eat stinky tofu

Near my apartment is a restaurant which serves, among other things, stinky tofu. When I first moved here I couldn't stand the smell as I passed by every day. Now, I eat there regularly. Most of the time I don't even notice the smell. I still don't like the smell of stinky tofu, but it tastes great.

It is strange that there is some stuff you can eat inside of your drink (for example pearl milk tea)

I have to admit, even if I have gotten used to this, there is still some part of me that thinks it's kind of weird that when you are sipping from a straw some gelatinous substance ends up on your tongue.

It is strange that there are a lot of foreigner models on Taiwanese advertisements

Well, not really. I got used to that in Japan. The thing that is weird is their choice of foreigner models. Sometimes the models are not all that good-looking and make me wonder about the difference in perception of what is beautiful.

It is strange that Taiwanese wear thick-framed eyeglasses

They look kind of dorky. No, very dorky. Still, they do have some interesting variations on the theme and I have on more than one occasion considered getting a pair.

The way Taiwanese dispose of their trash is quite weird (for example, in Taiwan garbage truck pick up trash at a certain time and place while announcing their arrival with music)

I bet anyone that when Beethoven composed the opening lines of 'Fur Elise' he never imagined that hundreds of years later the song would be played to signal to residents to take their trash out to a garbage truck. I guess it's because nobody wants to leave there stinky trash on the street (yeah you can imagine how much that would smell in the hot summer months). When I first heard it I would think of Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, "If you think it's time to fu*in rock, and fu*in roll, out of control..." but pretty soon that got old.

The noise pollution of this, and other trucks which emit various sounds (such as recordings of commercials to fix your window screens), is something I think I will never get used to (most of them park right outside my apartment building, where there is a park).

Especially when I'm just about to take a mid-afternoon nap.

It is strange that there are water dispensing machines everywhere in Taiwan

This isn't so strange as the fact that Taiwan still doesn't have clean drinking water. My landlord keeps a huge kettle in the kitchen which he uses to boil water so we can drink it. Every time I wash a dish I have to dry it before eating from it. Same with fruit. When I order a drink I never ask for ice as I have had stomach aches from ice, which I guess was from water that was not boiled properly.

For a country which has a high quality of life, high-speed Internet access, and modern roads and transportation systems, you'd think the government would invest in mass filtration systems. It makes me wonder whether those companies which make the water-dispensing machines have some kind of lobbying power in the government.

It's strange that there are a lot of scooters in Taiwan.

It's strange that Taiwanese often travel with several (three or more) people on one scooter

I've already talked about the scooters in Taiwan. I guess it annoys me both on a personal level (as when I'm walking on the sidewalk and some scooter almost runs me over, assuming that he has every right being there) and an environmental level. The 2-stroke engines that many people drive here emit much more than their 4-stroke counterparts.

To be fair, scooters are pretty convenient and according to one expat friend, cheaper than riding the metro. Also, they are fun to drive.

The KTV culture of Taiwan is quite strange (for example: one person may sing several songs without a break and nobody mind)

I remember when I first came here, some friends invited me to sing karaoke. There was this one Taiwanese girl who simply wouldn't put down the mic. Apparently you can bump up your songs in the order. This really annoyed me. I haven't sung karaoke since.

The Heat is Back

We had a mild winter, even by Taiwanese standards (it seldom dropped below 10 degrees C). It did feel cold at times though, as there is no central heating and I didn't have any space heaters.

Then, around March, came a few warm spells. It wasn't all good of course, most days were rainy and gray. Lately it's been alternating between rainy and gray, and sunny and mild.

Yesterday for the first time it felt almost... hot. Humid. I didn't need my big blanket anymore. In class we asked the teacher to put on the AC. Girls started wearing short shorts again (yay!)

Today I walked down a street near the night market and saw some cockroaches, trampled, on the ground. There were one or two survivors on the street (and probably 5,000 more wherever they came from).

Surprisingly there haven't been many mosquitoes so far. Knock on wood.

All this means the coming of summer. Sadly I don't think Taiwan has a stable Spring to speak of. It just alternates between too hot and too cold before becoming too hot for good. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating a little.

This weekend will be my DJ debut in Taiwan as I have been invited to mix at a club by some ex-pat DJs/promoters. It should be fun.

Strange and exotic fruit

One thing that struck me when I first came to Taiwan was the large amount of fruit available everywhere. If you are feeling too hot after walking in the summer heat, you will no doubt find a stand selling cut fruit to cool you down (served in a small plastic bag with a toothpick). In a night market you can get not just different types of teas but also freshly-made smoothies from whatever fruit are available. And rather than buy fruit in the supermarket, most Taiwanese choose to buy their fruit in shops dedicated to selling just fruit, open 24 hours.

But personally, I don't go out of my way to buy fruit. I buy fruit on my way home at a stand which sells it. I used to buy apples and oranges because I wasn't familiar with the local fruit, till one day they didn't have apples (usually imported from Korea, Japan, or the US).

the fruit stand by my house, here selling mandarin oranges, pineapples, watermelons, etc...

Upon the suggestion of the shop clerk I instead got some bala, as it is known in Taiwanese or, for the rest of us, guava. Guava can be hard like an apple or mushy like a banana, depending on the type and how long you let it ripen. It has hard seeds inside it which you can eat or spit out. Its taste is slightly sour and a little sweet. I wonder why I only had guava juice and never the real fruit before coming to Taiwan.

guava and wax apples

The other day for the first time I bought all local fruit- guava and wax apples. Wax apples have a nice crunchy consistency not unlike a fresh watermelon. The flavor is zesty and sweet.

Taiwan has a large array of fruit you would never find in your standard Western super market: dragon fruit (which taste a little like kiwi fruit), star fruit (looks cool but not my favorite taste), pomelos (a very big citrus fruit), jujubes (looks like a small apple) and more.

For more information on fruit in Taiwan, check out this site, brought to you by the Taiwanese government office in New York.